Dear Onions,

I love you dearly. Mainly because you are cheap and you can live a long and healthy life in the bottom of the refridgerator, but also because I can chop you up and put you in anything and you will make it delicious. For example, last night when I was attempting to make my oh-god-is-it-payday-yet dinner, I used you to liven up my otherwise bland pasta-and-the-tiny-bit-of-sauce-left-in-the-jar meal.

However, again because I am poor, I do not have a cutting board to prepare you on. And my occasional use of a paper towel as cutting board substitute has not kept your scent from descending into my countertops. Therefore, when I prepared my lunch this morning (and wrapped my goodies in aluminum foil because the baggies ran out yesterday), your oniony smell got all over the outside of my entire lunch. And your smell is permeating my ENTIRE WORK AREA.

Don't get me wrong. We aren't breaking up, but you are going to have to do something to get back in my good graces.